Just Living Diversity

マニラでのソーシャルワークとの出会い記録から、日本のソーシャルワーク×多文化/法的支援、インドで暮らし、働き、旅するカラフルさ、インド&野草ごはん、身体を解すこと、レジリエンス/回復についての試行錯誤を記録したく。 私もあなたも、ゆるく受けいれて生きていけるといいなと祈りながら。

meeting > food

Went to Ala-non meeting.
Ppl often say to me speak louder. Oh i know. Louder ! Faster ! Itself is pressure for me....
Every small tasks feel like mountain
That happens
Up and down is Ok
Ppl welcomed me. Ppl sympathies me. Thanks. Ppl are suffering.
Let's allow me to feel nervous
I improve myself is important but also task has been done even I still have a lot to be desired is important. No one will be perfect.
I can go with my pace.
En joy
I feel guilty for my negativity and incapability.
Manish told me that if you know your deficiency it's good you can improve. If you are too much confident and don't know
I deserve  to feel happy.
Do I make enough effort before feeling down ? No time to feel down. I know. But I can't stop... sometimes I feel better. In spite of feeling work is coming..
I'm serious that's why I'm suffering.
Eventually everything will be fine.
I need to think more so that I feel confident on my idea.
Hypothesis. ... It's not right or wrong.
Because it's project consulting work I feel too much overwhelmed...
It's very challenging...
God pls help me to talk to him... to get feedback and say thanks.
I feel guilty for not having confidence.
Having confidence might be risky. Inconfident might be better. I desire for approval by others ..... God pls help me to approve myself regardless of my situation. Pls let me know I'm doing ok.
Self doubt might be good.
The new interns said to me actually you are cute, which made me happy. Keep being cute. I can smile I can dance I can sing regardless of my work quality. Don't lose it.
Follow your intuition.
All my way I have passed is right and I'm protect by God. Trust that.
10 years later I can laugh.
What I'm learning ? To rely on others. To admit myself. To surrender. I need your help.  To charge my energy.
Rome was not made in a single day.
It's part of my life. Not all.
When I can't accept my negative feeling I feel I can't do anything without becoming positive. One thing I can is just feel it. Don't need to control. Stop. Stop thinking. Stop thinking "why I can't do this ?" Just do and feel.  It's ok to make mistakes. I might feel it's too late but he might not care. Might be better timing for him.
God grant me the courage to ask others for help. Let's think while standing or near  open space.
I could cry a bit today.
God pls let help me to feel ok.
I'm always besides you, my inner child :) don't worry. It will be fine.  I'm still alive.