I could talk with the organizer of the sharehouse.
He said regular residence is difficult as the living style there is basically beyond the person's comfort zone, it's kind of fear zone/learning zone (it might have been even a panic zone for me sometimes)
He himself also has 3 places to live.
Considering my physical symptoms, ( stomach ache/stuffed neck) he agreed to the idea of living some other place for a while and also living in several places later (though it's costly😅）
He also mentioned " what is my real need?" under the surface issues arising now .
It might be related to the personal growth to be myself, embracing conflicts/ambivalent feelings.
Ideally I wanna cooperate for the baby care without hesitation to the Mom (my friend), on the other hand, I'm feeling that we are on a different wavelength...
Hope we can find the comfortable distance n enjoy the journey to find it =3